hallo word.

I got obsessed with awonderful work called "Ranfren" at the end of the yeae, and now I'm completely hooked. By the way, it's already 2025.this year.

I have felt unmotivated since this morning and wanted to give up on everthing, even being awake.But I sitll had the desire to draw fan art. Drawing is what keeps me going.

Compared to yesterday, my suicidalthoughts have disappeared. Am I tryung to do somthing I can't do? I can't measure my own abilities. And I want to draw fan art of my favorite character somday. so I will leave it here.

When I woke up in the emergency hospital,I wasn't fully myself for a few days-I was Like a child.
I had no memory, but lookinng through my LINE chat history, I saw that during a meal, afemale nurse had asked me, "Do you think I can ever get married?" Apparently, I told her ,"You seem kind, so I'm sure you can."

The next day, another female nurse bumped her foot on a door and complaind, "It hurts, and it's going to leave a bruise," Whatching her, I casually said,"Oh no, poor thing," as if I were talking to a friend. From there, we got along, and she asked me why I tried to end my life.
At night, when I couldn't sleep, we wandered around the room together exploring. It was just one day, butit felt fulfiling.

Gradually, my brain returned to nomal, and I went back to being my usual self.
It was awfuk, From that day on, I became the version of my self I have all over again.

In the end, I hate myself, so I just want to go back to being the unfiltered version of me, the one free from mental illnesses. I want to return to the foolish version of myself-someone so oblivious that I wouldn't even feel bothered by unpleasant things.

I have purchased language books for Deutschland,Russian,and others, but i haven't beenable to keep up with them, struggling through mentally exhausting days. Languages are beautiful, aren't they.

gameboy.

I want to enter the world of manga or game, even if it's just as a wall.

finaly

the ribbon looks like part of the body.

i want to cure my disability rather than my mental illness. please make me an ordinary person if i am reborn.

I know I shouldn’t, but the drowsiness was so strong that I stopped taking the medication I take at night, and the drowsiness has eased.

old drawing. I had a really incomprehensible experience in the past. People can be truly scary.

I've only recently become a fan David Lynch and have watched ‘Twin Peaks’ and ‘The Grandmother’ .

I’ve started skipping my medication recently, and after a few days, the drowsiness at night has completely disappeared. I don’t want to increase my risk of developing dementia, but I really like how relaxed I feel during this time of the day. And lately, I can’t draw the comic style I’m aiming for.

the sleepiness at night has campletely disappeard. After taking a short nap, I dreamed of being with multiple murderers. I was being cornered.

i'll try taking just a little of my nighttime medication since I end up feeling unwell. Also, Randall has been appearing in my dreams lately.

An AI pointed out that my sleep balance might be disrupted due to orthostatic dysregulation or my thyroid. I thought my thyroid was already healed. I want to take herbal medicine and see how it goes.

I recently started liking a four-member group that originally came from Nico Nico and is now active on YouTube, but their merch isn’t available right now. My only options are buying from resellers or waiting for a restock. The timing was bad... I want it now.

I have the image I want to draw in my mind, but I can't complete my artwork with the same energy as before. For me, it's normal to go through cycles of being able to produce a lot and then not being able to draw at all. But honestly, I really hate myself.I can't face the OCs I've been with since childhood.

I've been awake for two days straight, but I'm having fun

When I was in a closed ward, perhaps because there were people watching and surveillance cameras, I was able to live a relatively regular life.

"welcome to moon world."